How to (pretend to) be a good woman

Since I have a lot of free time in my hands, I just finished reading through an exhaustingly long list of things that supposedly make you a good woman. This restrictive and highly judgmental list only made me sicker than I already am at this point. I don’t understand why people believe that there is a fixed way for women to behave and if they don’t, they’re most likely to never be loved by anybody? Can you imagine if all of us were to behave exactly the same way, share the same old pleasantries every single day, what a drearily dull world this would be?

Anyway, so every woman needs to keep a few things in mind while going about their daily life if they don’t want to be banished out of the kingdom. Oh wait, that’s punishment for men. Women would most likely be cast out as witches and burned or hanged. But fret not, I have decided to come forth as your messiah and save you from the eternal worry of how to be a good, socially accepted woman. I know I am too much of a woman with too less of a beard to be accepted as a messiah but I’m gonna help, I assure you, please hear me out!

  • A good woman needs to be supportive

Being compassionate, supportive and empathetic towards your family, your partner and basically just everyone while forgetting any or all kinds of verbal/ mental or any other type of abuse they may be directing your way is a sure-fire way to be a good woman!! You go girl!! Fry your own emotions but support everybody else.

  • A good woman needs to be consistent

Being consistent is another valuable virtue of a good woman. No matter what goes on in your headspace, you need to consistently be available for who needs you, be it your family, your s/o, or even your friends. Nobody likes to deal with volatile emotions and you my friend, are a rock not a human being so consistency is key.

  • A good woman needs to have only community approved habits

Everybody has hobbies, everybody has obsessions and habits but a good woman doesn’t overstep societal boundaries with any of her activities. If the society says it’s bad for you to wear certain clothes, talk in a certain manner or just have a life you want in general, listen to them.

  • A good woman should be forgiving

Not only do you have to be consistent and supportive and compassionate but you also have to put the effort to maintain relationships and societal standards. Men will be men but you as a woman should know better. Be forgiving and basically just turn a blind eye on anything that would even slightly feel oppressive or degrading. There’s a reason why the statue of justice is a woman and is blindfolded.

  • A good woman should be maidenly

And the greatest virtue of all, forget about sex. It’s not like women sexuality or desires take center stage anywhere, but if you’re to be a good woman forget about the stage altogether. Don’t even show up at the venue. A good woman needs to be okay with the idea of being sexualized without having any sexuality herself. Go figure!


Remember being young and wanting to grow up so you could live without all the painful rules and limitations? Psychhhh!!

But hey, congratulations on your successful transition from a tiny positive happy human to a larger and more miserable version! And I hope these points will help you become the best of that miserable version.

That’s my rant for today.

Much love


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *