As the famous quote goes, “god couldn’t be everywhere so he made mothers”. While I agree that our moms love us, but how fair is it to put them in such a high pedestal from where they have to struggle so much to be mere humans?
While we struggle with the expectations our parents impose on us, we wish we could just be ourselves. We carry resentments towards our parents for forcing the burden of being the best on us. Yet, in all of that we forget that social conditioning has forced our parents with much more of such expectations than what we are subjected to. Especially our moms because they have to carry the burden of always being perfect, loving her children unconditionally, and in the process, behave a certain way, suppress their emotions, act a certain way and always be kind, wholesome, self-sacrificing and wise.
This goes on to create unrealistic ideologies and enforces misogyny further because the son grows up to search for a partner who is as perfect, as UNFLAWED as his mother. On the other hand, the daughter struggles with her own flaws and emotions because there is a direct or indirect pressure on her to achieve similar sainthood.
So, let me just put it out there. My mother is not my god. She’s a human with her own set of emotions and her flaws. She is an amalgamation of her experiences with life most of which I don’t know about, a collective result of the mistakes she made and the insights she gained from them which can be and most definitely will be way different from my own. She is not perfect; she never was and I always blamed her for those imperfections because even I thought moms ought to be perfect. But today I want to free her of all these implications and unnecessary pressures. She does not have to be my superhero or my god, she does not have to be the best, she just has to be there as she is. While I am extremely thankful of everything she has done for me, I refuse to put her on a pedestal.
I want to request all of you who read this, to stop expecting martyrdom from your moms. Stop killing her humanism and imposing god-like sainthood on her. She does not always have to be perfect, she does not always have to be your superhero, she does not always have to have your back, she is allowed to make mistakes and you can love her even without putting her on the god pedestal. You can respect her along with all her flaws and shortcomings. Let her breathe. Let her be human.
Well, that’s all from me today.